Non-Attachment for Beginners
Non-attachment is more than spring cleaning physical items you no longer need - it’s the spiritual practice of letting go of outcomes to ease suffering in our lives. We live in a society where we’re taught to go out and make things happen, the problem is that we’re often headed in the wrong direction, and it can be upsetting when we don’t get what we think is best for us.
When we live in the present moment, trust our intuition, and do things that make us feel good, we can trust that we’re setting ourselves up for future success. Uncertainty is a big cause of fear, which causes us to latch on to specific outcomes in order to give us the safety we crave. When we act based on outcomes, we end up doing the same things over and over again to stay in the known, while also craving bigger things for our lives.
Tuning into trust, and allowing your inner compass to guide you allows us to enjoy the process on the way to the destination. Instead of choosing your end goal based on where you think you need to go, why not try something different? Non-attachment teaches us to live in the present moment, allowing us to “just be” instead of creating required outcomes for happiness, and getting disappointed when things don’t go our way.
One of the biggest teachers of non-attachment in my life is relationships with others. As an anxious person, I can spend a lot of time in my head orchestrating situations and outcomes that will make me feel safe. It’s one thing to trust my own actions, but a whole other ball game to trust another’s, however that’s where the beauty and the new come in - plus, it’s a lot less exhausting than trying to control every single aspect of life.
To practice non-attachment stay in the present moment with meditation, and notice how your body feels before taking action. If things feel really good, take action, but be mindful of discerning between fear or anxiety and a full-body no. In order to get different results, you’ll have to sit with yourself through feelings of discomfort while doing things differently.
When you trust in yourself and take leaps of faith in new behaviours, or allow yourself to be surprised by outcomes, you’ll eventually feel a sense of ease as you stop carrying the burden of having to control everything in your life. My favourite physical practice for non-attachment can provide you with a sense of relief as you let go of your desired outcome and lean into faith.
Practice for Non-Attachment
Grab a rock, or an object that can easily fit in your hand.
Picture attaining your dream outcome. Really feel into your body, and squeeze the object in your hand, with your palm facing up. On an exhale, open your palm and notice the object still there.
Try this practice again, this time with your palm facing down. After squeezing and holding onto the feelings and vision of your outcome, let your object go on an exhale, and watch it fall as you feel a sense of relief. This represents the energetic practice of detaching from control.
**Bonus points for letting your rock go into a body of water, and watching it disappear.