How I Make Hard Life Decisions

To Be Alone With You, Teeth Magazine Online

I used to live a very logical life, making decisions from a place of analytical reasoning, rather than the way I felt. It was easy for me to pick a target, and do whatever it took to achieve my desired results, despite the consequences of how I felt in the process.

I was unsure what I wanted to do after graduating from university, so I did the practical thing and went to law school. I had undiagnosed ADHD, which made the program extremely challenging for me. Despite attending all my classes and looking like I was having fun on the outside, I got terrible grades, and felt like a failure the whole three years. I kept pushing to achieve “success”, and made it through my degree, only to get a terrible job that further contributed to my unhappiness and stress.

I continued on this path, ignoring that I was miserable, and had an interview for a role that I thought I needed to take. I remember walking into their office, feeling physical pain, and having the awareness that I did not want to take this job, but I pushed down those feelings because I felt like I had no other options. It was at this job that I felt my lowest, and it took a near-death experience to help me see that I had a choice in the way I was living.

Often times we think that we’re acting solely in our best interest, however, the beliefs and expectations of others impact our decision-making more than we think. Only by slowing down and tuning into our internal wisdom, are we able to make the choices that are the most aligned to our highest purpose in life.

Life isn’t meant to be so hard. Sometimes we end up in places that feel so far away from how we actually want to be living, but I promise alignment can be easier than you think. When you trust in yourself and know your decisions are coming from a place that feels good and right to you, it makes it easier to make decisions your way, leading you to a more authentic, and fulfilling life.

The first step I take in making hard decisions is slowing down. We do not make good choices (especially for the long term), when we’re stressed, or coming from a place of scarcity.

Sitting in stillness can be uncomfortable, I get it. While meditation is a great place to be alone with your thoughts and feelings, it can be difficult if we aren’t used to the practice. To create some gentle slowness in your life, I recommend calm, digital-free walks in nature, a bath, or simply enjoying your morning coffee, distraction-free. Get yourself into a comfortable space where you feel safe to explore how you’re feeling, and notice what comes up without forcing anything.

Slowing down is so important, because we will be on the same track of thinking that we’ve always been if we don’t take a pause and allow decisions to come from a place of peace. Give yourself some time in stillness, not forcing any outcomes. If you don’t yet have clarity, give yourself the gift of time and space to allow your answer to come.

The next step is listening to what our body and mind are telling us, otherwise known as our intuition. We hold an incredible amount of wisdom, and are the ones who know best for our lives. So, stop asking others for their opinion, and start tuning into yourself.

We are taught in this world to do as we’re told, and that other people know best, so we are a little out of touch with out intuition. A practice I share with clients to strengthing intuition is asking yourself small questions in your daily life, so that you’re able to trust it more in larger decision-making. This could be asking yourself what you feel like eating for dinner, listening without judgment, and noticing how you feel after eating what you desire. Another practice is asking yourself which coffee mug you want to use in the morning, or which way you’d like to get to a destination that you always take the same route for. Listen for your answers, then act on them.

Once you start seeing that you can trust that little voice in your head/feeling deep down in your body, you’ll be able to rely on it for the bigger things as well. Make a decision, notice how you feel, and keep going. It’s a practice. We are meant to live in ways that are authentic and true to our unique selves, so stop looking for answers outside, and start looking within.