Learning How to Pause
I was working 70-80 hours a week preparing for a trial as a litigation lawyer when the Universe forced me to slow down and re-evaluate my life after getting laid off.
Two months earlier I had witnessed a traumatic event, and fell into a deep depression and PTSD. I couldn’t eat, socialize, or perform activities of daily living. Instead, I threw myself into work to avoid paying attention to how low I was feeling.
Although I hated my job and it made me feel miserable, I started interviewing for similar roles at similar law firms out of desperation. My incredible therapist suggested taking a pause, and at 29 years old, I had no idea how to fill up my days.
Because I have no chill, I started spending my time reading about how to get a job, and worked with numerous coaches and therapists. Everyone said the same thing, do the things you love to do, and do them often.
I had no idea how doing yoga, meditating, and spending time in nature could get me a job, but years later I can see how those actions healed me and led me to teach other women to do the same.
My time out from regular life was the biggest gift, and I use this practice 2-3 times a year to take a bird’s eye view of my life and switch up my actions to create more aligned results.
The beautiful thing about creating space is that allows you to reinvent yourself and your habits. I had to first accept where I was at and feel the low and challenging emotions, but it was incredible to discover myself and start living a life that actually brought me joy.
If you’re uncomfortable slowing down, start by saying no to one thing each week. This could be a social event, extra work, or your nightly episode(s) of tv. You are what you do every day, so even by creating a tiny bit of extra space, you’ll be able to slow down your mind and see things more clearly.
Once you’ve had some practice creating space, you’ll feel more powerful in saying no. We often think other people expect us to do all these things, but in reality it’s our anxious mind.
Daily pauses like meditation, walking in nature, and spending alone time tech-free are great practices that build up over time. If you’re really ready to see different results, say no to as many things you regularly do as possible. This will add so much relaxation to your life, in addition to you being able to witness which actions bring your desired results instead of doing the same things over and over again.
had no idea what to do with my time,
It is so much easier to keep going and wait for something to change our life than it is to take accountability and switch up our daily actions.