My Story Part I: You Are Not Your Mind
The first time I realized I was not my mind was on April 23, 2018. I had just headed out on my post-lunch walk with co-workers, when I heard someone honking behind me. Traffic noises were regular on one of the busiest streets in Toronto, but for some reason, I turned around.
When I did, I saw a big, white van driving over the sidewalk, and assumed it was a mistake, until it sped up and continued coming towards me. What felt like the longest minute of my life also felt like the quickest, as I watched the van expeditiously approaching my friend and I.
I started willing my mind to pull my friend out of the way, but I stood frozen and helpless. I couldn’t even yell for her to move out of the way as I watched the van continue towards us.
Finally, something deep inside overrode my “frozen mind”, and reached out to grab my friend, pulling us both to safety. In that moment, something else took over my conscious mind and saved both our lives. As I stood still paralyzed from what had just occurred, my eyes watched the van continue down the sidewalk, driving into and over several women, killing or paralyzing them in the process.
This was the day that started my journey of self-discovery, and changed my life forever. It’s been years, but I keep coming back to the moment where I was not my mind. This experience encouraged me to explore the different parts of self, discovering my intuition and wisdom within.
If you’d like to learn more about the idea that you are not your mind, give A New Earth a read. The author, Eckhart Tolle, had a similar experience in which he realized that the voice in his head was not him. This is such a powerful realization, because once we understand we are not our thoughts, it gives us the ability and awareness to choose differently.
Be gentle with yourself as you’re starting to practice this concept, and simply notice without judgment your thoughts as outside things. Over time, you’ll be able to separate yourself more and more from your mind, cultivating the voice within.