Why I’m Doing 40 Days Sober
Image via Esmée Geeratz
Sober curious means to question the way alcohol impacts you. In our culture. it’s abnormal to say no to a drink, but in the last few years, I’ve realized this widely accepted habit wasn’t making me feel my best. When I’m on my own, choosing not to drink is easy. Save for the occasional margarita or rum punch, I don’t find myself craving alcohol, or even liking the taste. The challenge for me with not drinking is how I’m seen by my friends, family, and other people.
What started with a sober January in 2021, led me to not drink for four month-long stints this year. My experiments with not drinking helped me realize that I was so fearful of making other people uncomfortable by choosing not to drink, or that they’d think I was less fun/cool, or even worse, something was “wrong” with me when I wasn’t partaking.
I want to live a joyful and intentional life. While I’m putting no pressure on myself to give up alcohol (or cannabis) forever, it feels incredible waking up hangover free, and becoming curious about what lights me up in this life, other than wine. I never want to feel like alcohol or drugs are the only way to have fun, de-stress, or deal with challenging moments. When I choose to imbibe, I want to be doing it with purpose, for pleasure.
Another scary reason why people choose to not reassess their relationship with alcohol is that they don’t know how else they would have fun or who they’d be without it. I remember in undergrad, when I was binge drinking multiple nights a week, I wondered how people could possibly have fun when they weren’t going out every weekend.. yikes!
It can be uncomfortable telling your friends, family, or first date that you’re not drinking, but it’s such a powerful tool to understand your feelings behind it. The way we do one thing is the way we do everything, so if you’re curious to give drinking a pause, use your fears around it to reflect on other areas of your life.
For example, if you’re dating (hi!!), and don’t want to make your first date feel awkward about you not drinking so you choose to drink and make them feel comfortable instead of yourself, where else in your life are you putting other peoples desires above your own? And.. how do you expect to meet a true divine partner if you’re not comfortable showing up as yourself?
The more that we can feel proud to be ourselves and acting upon our own desires, the more we shine our light, inspiring others to do the same!
If this post is resonating with you, and you’d like to try going alcohol or cannabis free for a bit, keep reading for my tips and tricks!
How I Take a Pause from Drugs & Alcohol
Become clear on my WHY
My values of beauty, freedom, authenticity and power always encourage me to take a break. By defining your values, you become clear on what you want out of life, making this seem less like deprivation and more like something you actually want to do.
Get clear on how you want to feel, and WHY you want to try this. Maybe you want to not wake up hungover, or see what else lights you up instead of drinking. Maybe you want to stop feeling like alcohol or drugs hold power over you to feel a certain way. Write your why down, and spend some time reflecting on this desire. Make what you want from this experience greater than what you’re giving up, and return to this feeling often.
Set a SMART goal. Get specific about what activities you want to stop, and give yourself a timeline. Start where you’re at. If you drink everyday, why not try a week? Or even five weekdays? Build yourself up over time so you feel like you’re setting yourself up for a challenge that you can succeed and feel powerful with.
Create a Plan
Prior preparation prevents poor performance. When do you use drugs or alcohol? There will be times you want to cave, and it will feel so incredible sticking to your intentions, so prepare for the challenges! For me, first dates are the most uncomfortable, so I’ll either take a pause from dating or only do morning dates.
Make a schedule for yourself. Fill your time with things you love, or have always wanted to try. Physical activity, especially outdoors, is also great because it helps you have good sleep.
Spend time with people who’ll be okay with you not partaking. If anyone wants to make you feel guilty for not doing something to make them more comfortable, they’re not the people you want around you.
Show up with Curiosity
When we create space in your life, new things will flow in. It can be scary not knowing what brings you joy, makes you feel happy, or relaxed other than alcohol and drugs. Instead of leading with fear, allow yourself to get curious about what things could fill you up instead. Use this as a beautiful opportunity to get to know yourself, and open up to the potential of who you can become!
If you start feeling anxious, or like you really want to drink, explore those feelings. A lot of times the reasons why we drink can show us a lot about our life, and how we can expand into a bigger one. Ask yourself what you need in feelings of discomfort, and see if you can find a different way of caring for yourself.
Have Fun
Don’t think of this as punishment, think of it as an experiment of who you truly are. Use this as an opportunity to try something new! Go to an art class, take a day trip, wake up extra early and watch the sunrise. Think back to what you loved when you were a kid, or do that thing you’ve always wanted to try.
Try a new drink! I dislike 99.9% of non-alcoholic drinks that are modeled after their alcoholic counterparts, but I do love fun mocktails. I am obsessed with trying new cuisines, so I’ll always pick up a beverage or two to try. I love Vietnamese iced coffees, Mexican cokes, Korean Grape juice, and bubble teas. Even sparkling waters from different regions have different flavours. Pick up some fun and new to you drinks, and have them on hand for nights alone and weekend parties.
Drink out of your fancy glasses. Just because you’re not drinking doesn’t mean you’re resigned to mugs and juice glasses. We’re sober curious, not lame!
** I am not a medical professional (yet). I am simply writing about my personal experience and what’s worked for me. I am lucky to not have an addictive relationship with substances. Please seek out support from a medical professional if you are experiencing harms from substance abuse or addictions **